Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn’t committing to the bit
I mean, we’re talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
“Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week.”
Look, there’s this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. “Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze” no they don’t, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive “philosopher’s cocaine.”
Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does
(via wadewilsonparker)
*takes your hand* we’ll go to the local kebab guy ok. no mcdonalds. local kebab guy loves us
i’m glad this resonated with a lot of you but this wasn’t a “cute date ideas” thing this was a “boycott fast food that feeds genocidal soldiers” thing
(via hectre)
guys that 9/11 post isn’t about that guy who got mad about turning red it’s about me and how when I was rewriting total drama island k thought it’d be funny if the scary chef witnessed it
perhaps…. Chef hatchet is the Gerard way of the td universe
hi i was recommended printessa randomly bc i was scrolling through a tag (i dont want to discuss which one at this time) and i read it and liked it and that was like a week ago and ive finished all your total drama fics. ive never seen total drama. i didnt even know what total drama was.
anyways this is just a reminder that if u publish something online it will create a butterfly effect and i just spent 100 dollars on getting a duncney drawing commissioned. again never ever seen the show
Anonymousoh god what have i done to you
thank u for reading!!! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!! I don’t necessarily *recommend* the show by any means so maybe you’re going about this the right way?
i think the reasons why fart jokes arent funny in movies but funny with friends is because fart jokes made by corporations don’t have the most important ingredient put into them. and that ingredient is love
(via ehlihr)
🎢
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
i was gonna be like “like a dead horse, easy” (puke train) but then remembered that GGG exists so probably that
